Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Supremes okay free market in politicians

The Supreme Court, in its collective wisdom and working from its core belief that something counts as free only if someone is paying money for it, has now given two big thumbs up to a new public market place in which investors can buy time shares in politicians of their choice. No longer will you have to make your purchases through opaque brokerages [PACS, Superpacs, Superduperpacs]which bundle money together and decrease your hands-on ownership stake and control. Now, thanks to John Roberts and his Supremes, you can directly purchase a percentage ownership stake in lawmakers of your choosing. Once bought, your time share legislator will spend the time and energy [proportionate to your investment] to  push legislation you have written, derail onerous regulations at your request, tailor foreign policy to your personal specifications, call for military action at your command, and secure you lucrative contracts which will ensure the ongoing cash flow making your relationship possible.

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